Verzeihen
by wherearej00going
Summary: Eriol wishes for Yue's forgiveness and offers something else... (EriolYue implied.)


Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura or any of its characters.

_Verzeihen_

          Yue sat on the top of the slide in King Penguin Park. Usually, it would fly to the top of buildings and sit there instead just to observe the moon - it's source of energy - but something peculiar had struck it to sit there that night, as though something was calling it…

          "Yue?" A hand placed itself gently on its shoulder. Yue tensed up at the touch, which was familiar, yet strange and frightening. It knew whom the hand belonged to but found that it was no excuse to throw its manners away. It turned slightly, managing to move its shoulder away from the contact with the hand and nodded politely. "Eriol-sama."

          "Dismiss the formalities, Yue, for I am no longer Clow Reed, but merely Eriol Hiiragizawa, one who possesses half his memories." Eriol stated as he seated himself right next to the Moon Guardian, ignoring the fact that his presence had changed the atmosphere, making it colder than it already was.

          _I know who you are…_ Yue thought as it resumed its past time of moon gazing, trying to ignore the other's existence.

          "Still angry with me?" Eriol asked, in a soothing voice that was similar to Clow's, the pitch being just slightly higher. Yue did not answer, but its hostility had provided Eriol with the answer to his question. Eriol chuckled sadly. He really had no idea what he could do to gain forgiveness. Then again, he didn't even know what he had done to deserve this treatment.

          "I am not angry." What a lie.

          Eriol could only smile. But this smile was - different. It did not hold the usual gentleness or kindness, or even the sinister glint that meant that one had better back off. Instead, it seemed as though Eriol had to put in effort to retain the smile – as though he had forced it out.

          Quietly – still holding that smile in place -, he asked, a harsh tone towards his words, but yet not evident for others to sense.

          "What have I done to deserve your hatred? What can I do to deserve your forgiveness?" Eriol's voice hadn't changed, but Yue sensed his displeasure in its attitude and a slight desperation for an answer. No one other than someone who spent nearly their whole lifetime with Clow Reed would be able to read Eriol's voice and tone, for Eriol had certain aspects of Clow's personality embedded in his own.

          Yue always remembered that no matter how hard it had tried to hide it's troubles away from Clow; he would always keep pushing until he found his answer. Stubborn as he was, he never gave up until he had achieved what he wanted and in the end, Yue always felt better after opening up its heart to the one that held it so close to him each night…

          But this was not Clow.

          "Tell me… tell me as you would tell Clow Reed."  Eriol's eyes showed no distinctive change but a slight tinge of desperation made its way to the surface and the moon guardian felt its heart soften up. But it hardened just as soon as painful memories flowed into its head and words that struck flowed out of its mouth.

          "You told me before that despite possessing Clow's memories, you are not Clow. Or have you forgotten?"

          Eriol was at a lost for words. What could he say to rebut? He had said that and he knew it himself. He just forgot about it in his desperation for forgiveness. "So that is how you think of me…"

          Yue nodded slightly and continued to gaze at the white glowing circle in the sky. Eriol simply sat there, not moving from where he was, but his gaze from the moon had traveled down to the ground, where his deep blue hair covered his face.

          No sign of recognition from Yue, meaning that anything Eriol did, or what Eriol felt, was of any concern to it.

          A twinkle from Eriol's eyes told Yue that there were tears that began to form, but the spectacles that he fashioned soon shielded them with a tilt of his head to reflect the moonlight.

          "Those words… I had meant it. I wanted you to see me as me – not Clow."

          Yue stiffened. It would not fall into a trap and get hurt once more or at least, so easily. "You meant it? Just what exactly do you want from me. Forgiveness, I can give it. Just leave me alone. I have – and don't want to have – nothing to do with you."

          "Why…?" Eriol asked. Hurt was evident in his quavering voice and Yue felt guilty about its reply, but it had no regrets for it would have said it anyway. Yue noticed the difference in attitude for Eriol was no longer Clow at this point, but purely a young teenager asking it for forgiveness… and perhaps offering something more…

          "Because I am but my mistress' guardian. And that is the only relation I will ever have."

          Eriol nearly bit his lip. He couldn't understand Yue's choice to remain alone forever. He knew that Sakura would not be able to give what Clow had given for she was showering it over another. He knew that Yue was suffering from the wounds of loneliness… yet, why wouldn't Yue want to accept what he was offering? Was the moon guardian even aware of what Eriol's aim was?

          "You _want_ to be alone?" Eriol asked, even though he had a vague idea of Yue's answer. He fiddled with his fingers as he felt the moon guardian tense up next to him.

          "I rather be alone than live with the pain of losing another." 

          _I guessed just as much,_ Eriol thought as pain blinded his eyes. He knew that he should not be there, asking Yue for forgiveness and a chance for Eriol to love it. He was merely making it a substitute to fill Kaho's space. He could not believe how selfish he was. 

          "I would too." Eriol agreed and stood up, brushing the dust from his clothes. He took a bow and casually commented, "I'm sorry for taking up your time. I'll excuse myself now."

          With that, he walked away from the glowing figure that had turned its head and stared at the figure that was slowly moving away from him… further and further… until Yue could see nothing but the darkness that shrouded the figure that had disappeared.

          Why didn't Yue forgive Eriol-sama for what he did not mean to do? Eriol-sama was just trying to help Yue let go of the past and rise from the pain. What was Yue afraid of?

          A single tear fell and made its way down its cheek. Only then did Yue realize that it had let happiness walk out of its grasp – once again.

Author's Notes:  
Oh man. I can't believe I finally got through this. Gyahahahahahahahaha!! The title 'Verzeihen' means 'forgiveness' and if you manage to get until here, you'd know why it was titled that way. :)

I really wonder if anyone actually read it…


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